Category: Personalised Service

Supporting a grieving loved one from afar during the Coronavirus Lockdown

Knowing how to support a friend or family member through grief can be tough, but when you can’t be with them, it can make you feel useless. Making sure the person isn’t on their own is often the first thing we do when someone suffers a loss, but what can you do when you can’t be there in person to make them a cup of tea, listen to them and give them a hug?

In this blog, Buckley Memorials will look at some of the ways you can support grieving friend or family member when you can’t be by their side during this time.

Keep in regular contact 

Even when we can’t be close to our loved ones, after a loss, regular contact goes a long way – even if it’s just a text or a quick phone call. It’s so important to ensure that your friends and family know that you are there for them and that they are not alone.

Help out with errands where possible 

When someone is grieving, their day-to-day life can take a back seat. Things may need cleaning; bills might need paying and food might need buying. Although it is easier to help out in person, even from afar, there are still ways you can be of help. During the current Coronavirus Pandemic it may also be a massive help to somebody that is high risk and can’t just ‘pop’ to the shops. The little things could really help the person in need.

Send them a thoughtful gift

Sending a small but thoughtful git to let them know you are thinking of them may mean the world to someone who is feeling a little down. Whether you want to send them a little self-care hamper or a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a gift is the perfect way of showing how much you care. While you can’t give them a hug this could be the perfect alternative.

Talk to them and keep their loved one’s memory alive

When someone dies, they may no longer be here in person, but their memory is still alive. Although it’s tempting to avoid talking about the person that died as you feel you may upset the person, actually, it can really help those who are grieving to process their feelings especially when we cannot get out to talk to many people currently.

Organisations that offer support after a bereavement

No matter what the circumstances, dealing with the death of a loved one can be an excruciatingly painful, difficult, and confusing time.

Nobody should feel alone in their grief, and there are plenty of charities and organisations in the UK dedicated to supporting people after a bereavement.

Just some of the ways that these organisations may be able to help you include:

  • Guidance and support.
  • Telephone helpline.
  • Meet people going through the same thing.

We’ve put together some information about the top organisations.

Cruse Bereavement Care– The UK’s leading bereavement charity. Cruse provides advice and help to anyone in need of support after a bereavement. As well as a national helpline, Cruse also offer local services up and down the country including face-to-face support and groups.

Winston’s Wish– Helping children and young people to deal with the death of a parent or sibling.  Winston’s Wish offers children therapeutic help and support services to help them to deal with their grief. This includes professional support via a freephone helpline, online chat, email service and face-to-face.

Child Bereavement UK– Supports families when a baby or child passes away. As well as providing professional information and support to families, Child Bereavement UK also provide specialist support to bereaved children. Support can be gained via a telephone helpline, peer support groups, counselling, and online support.

Sands – Stillbirth and neonatal death charity– Supporting anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby. Sands offer information, advice and support through their website, app, freephone helpline, and local and online support groups.

Speaking to someone about your bereavement can help you to work through your feelings, get advice about how to cope with your grief, and help with adjusting to life without the person who has died.

Should Funerals Need To Be Sombre Occasions Or A Celebration Of Life?

Death is an inevitability we all have to deal with and for those left behind it is always difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. But in recent years we have seen funerals that celebrate the life of a person rather than make them a traditionally sombre occasion. So which approach is the right one?

Celebrating the life of a person at a funeral is not a new idea, in Ghana for example, the deceased have a special coffin made to celebrate a person’s interests or passions. Funerals are thus more light hearted than the traditional funerals we have here in the UK where people wear black and coffins are build to a standardised design.

The celebration funeral is perhaps a reaction to this type of funeral. Increasingly nowadays people want to express their individuality rather than end their days like everyone else with everyone surrounding a coffin dressed in black.

Then there are people who prefer the traditions such as TV presenter Colin Brazier, who asked for people to wear black at his wife’s funeral.

It is easy to empathise with both sides of the debate. Those with strong religious beliefs will naturally prefer that traditions are maintained and that fun funerals miss the point about the finality of death and the passage to the afterlife.

How To Choose The Right Gravestone

Choosing the right gravestone is one of the most important things to consider when you begin the process of providing a fitting memorial for the deceased person.

There are many things to consider including the right material, size and cost. Headstones can be expensive and on top of all the other costs your budget can easily be exceeded unless you pay attention to the details.

This can be difficult of course in a time of great upheaval. While forward planning these things is not something people tend to do it is important to consider where you would like the deceased to be buried first so that you can consider the rules and regulations of particular cemeteries.

You will be met with several options when it comes to choosing headstones. Headstones are made from all kinds of materials including slate, sandstone, limestone, granite and marble to name but a few.

Granite is considered to be one of the best choices you can make if you want a headstone that is easy to maintain and will be resistant to the harshest weather conditions.

Granite headstones don’t just come in white or black, they can also come in a variety of other colours including grey, red, blue and even pink.

Sandstone or slate are other popular choices, however these stones will be more susceptible to the weather even if they look more like the traditional gravestones many people prefer.

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